Reminiscing

Reminiscing is such a strange thing; thinking of the past memories and experiences. Sometimes you want to relive them--other times you just love thinking about them. Whether it be that crisp, golden sunset streaked with oranges, reds, purples while standing on a rugged, uneven boulder that hadn't felt human feet on its back in a long time--if ever--and the refreshing breezes of the valley 2,000 feet directly below you wanting to sweep you off that boulder and into the darkness closing in on you from the east.

Or, maybe it's that game. The one that afterwards, you had more aches and bruises than you had ever seen on your body. That game that you didn't feel any limitations. Where you would be in the huddle with some of your best friends--hear the play--your favorite, 518--move into quick snap. "Down, go..."--jump into the tailback spot--partly crouched--"set, hit!"--your linemen shoot off the line, cross-blocking like they had known to do--the spin back gets the ball and turns toward you--you nonchalantly moving toward him with arms in position to receive it--inside elbow is ALWAYS up--as you cross him, he places the pigskin snuggly into your stomach--you clench your abs to help brace it secure against your body as both two fingers on each of your hands go over opposite tips of the ball. All those drills of securing the ball now make it feel natural to hold without another soul being able to take it from you--you move parallel to the linemen until you reach your opening, then make a 90 degree cut straight toward enemy territory--the hole the linemen made for you isn't more than 1 and a half feet wide--only about 3/4 of a second to get through it before it closes and you get hung up--but you don't because you have run this play more times than you can count. You follow your 250 pound pulling guard who leads the way through the gap to pick up the first linebacker on the opposite side--he takes one out--now it's just you and all of the guys with the opposite colored jerseys. You don't focus on one area of the field because that area may not be open in two tenths of a second. No, you react to movement--you see a middle linebacker closing from the left, but you don't move until he gets a little closer--bam, you make a last second 45 degree cut the opposite way and he misses you--CRUNCH--you get blindsided from the right--how did you not anticipate that?! You fall with him and three others to the ground. He's happy because he just wiped you out--you jump up smiling because you know you get to do that all over again. The little boy in the crowd is disappointed because it looks like you barely got anywhere, and you didn't score a touchdown. you see that you made 7 yards--huge success to you and the rest of your linemen. Time to do it all over again. This time, however, you'll get that cut and make a break for it.

Point and Purpose

Point and purpose. Redundant use of the same idea, but a better use of slang and correct vocabulary. Plus, it sounds better because it appears to have a catchy/creative title.

So what's the point and purpose of this blog? That's always a great question for a blogger when he/she begins the whole process. I guess I could start by addressing the title, "Moving Backwards." For those of you who are familiar with the artist, Ben Rector, you will recognize this as one of his song titles. The line goes, "Standing still isn't easy, when the world's moving backwards." So what does this entail for me? Since coming to Vanderbilt, I have grown more in this 2 year period of time than I have throughout my whole junior/senior high school career. Spiritually, academically, pridefully, worldly, culturally, and whatever other -ly word you can add in there, I have probably grown in that area as well. I have come to find myself outside the context of Keota, Iowa. Don't get me wrong, I love Keota and all of the opportunities and experiences it has given me. However, I needed to branch from it.

The atmosphere that I have surrounded myself with at Vanderbilt has been amazing. One that involves an intense and very real commitment to Faith, and one that has become comfortable. For the most part, I have only moved forward with my life because everything has been new and exciting and comfortable. Comfortable--I have come to avoid that word and remove it from my life. Why? Because we are not supposed to be comfortable in this world. This world that IS "Moving Backwards" (ah-ha! using the title of the blog in a quotation is like hearing the title of a movie being used in the movie). So, removing myself from this comfortable atmosphere has been a challenge in itself. I don't mean removing myself as in disconnecting from friends or going secular. To be honest, I'm not quite sure what removing myself entails yet, but God is revealing bits and pieces of it to me as I go along. As I remove myself from the comforts of it, I find it difficult a lot of the time to be intentional with God and keep digging into the word. Be true to the Truth and Knowledge that I know and am continuing to learn. So that's where the song line comes into play--that even "standing still isn't easy, when the world's moving backwards."

So...what have I gotten from this so far? Mostly, that I have waaay too many thoughts in my mind that I need to organize before sitting down and writing. Secondly, that I don't really have any expectations to gain from this except to post what's going on--a sort of public journal. But, by public, I don't expect it to be any sort of famous blog or even have any followers. I really don't have any expectations of what it will develop into. I find that when you go into any situation, when you are lacking expectations, that is when you grow/learn/experience/gain the most. There is no disappointment--no moving backwards from what you expect or what is expected of you form the world.